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Rant: The whole "just be yourself" advice is actually terrible for first dates
Honestly, I tried this advice on three dates last month after my buddy kept telling me to stop overthinking it. So I went in completely unfiltered, talked about my day job fixing busted transmissions, and even mentioned I watch car restoration videos for fun. Every single date ended early with some excuse about needing to leave or feeling tired. One girl even said "you're a bit much" when I got excited explaining how a torque converter works. Tbh, it made me realize that being yourself is fine but you gotta read the room first. Nobody wants to hear about engine rebuilds over coffee, that's on me. Next time I'm gonna keep the car talk for after the third date or something. Has anyone else had this backfire by taking that advice too literally?
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emmajackson21h ago
Yeah the "you're a bit much" line hit home for me. I found a good middle ground by saving my deep dives for later dates and instead asking what they already enjoy talking about. Once I started balancing my passions with actually listening to theirs, the dates went way smoother.
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logan_dixon1816h ago
Yeah that's exactly what I figured out too. I used to just dump all my weird interests on people right away and wonder why they looked like they wanted to escape. Now I save the heavy stuff for like date three or four and just let things build naturally. It makes a massive difference when you actually let the other person talk instead of treating them like an audience. Definitely takes practice but once you get the hang of it the whole dating thing feels way less awkward.
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