Rant: The time a crystal shop owner told me vaccines have lizard tracking codes

So last month I'm in this metaphysical shop in Sedona, just browsing incense, when the owner pulls me aside and starts whispering about how Bill Gates is using 5G towers to activate microchips in people's teeth. I'm standing there holding a $12 sage bundle trying to process it all. She said she got this info from a YouTube video that had exactly 47 minutes of chanting before the real message played. Now I can't walk into any store without wondering if the cashier is about to drop some wild theory on me. Has anyone else had a retail worker suddenly turn into a conspiracy lecturer on you?

2 comments

2 Comments

ellis.jennifer1mo ago

Guess my third eye wasn't open enough to see that one coming.

mia4421mo ago

Honestly, "third eye wasn't open enough" is a wild way to admit you missed something obvious. Ngl, that's like saying you couldn't see the forest because your aura was misaligned. I bet the next time you screw up, you'll blame your chakras or some moon phase. Tbh, I think we've all been there once, just with less creative excuses. Maybe try closing your third eye and using your actual eyeballs next time.