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I went on 14 blind dates in 5 months and the "just have fun with it" advice is flat out wrong
Between January and May I went on 14 blind dates set up through friends and one app, mostly around Sacramento, and by date 9 I noticed I was picking the same "easy" coffee shop spot every time just to get it over with. The popular advice says treat it like a fun hobby with zero goals, but once I started writing down one honest note after each meetup, the pattern was clear: the casual mindset was making me lazy and I stopped really trying. So what's the move, keep it light and risk wasting people's evenings, or admit you want something real from the start?
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mark4915d ago
Man, 14 dates in 5 months is a lot, and I feel for you on the burnout. That part about the same coffee shop by date 9 hit me, because I've done the exact same thing, picked the spot closest to home just so it could be over fast. It's not that you're a bad person, it's that "just have fun" gives you nothing to hold onto, so you go through the motions and the other person can feel it. Being honest up front about wanting something real seems way kinder than dragging someone to a boring coffee just to check a box. Worst case you scare off a few people who were only looking for a buddy, and that's fine.
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